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| Depp contemplates his own magnificence. |
Of all the creeps and ghouls in the netherworld, there can only be one Hollywood hack who rises up above Freddy Krueger, Beetlejuice and Macaulay Culkin... his name is Johnny Depp and he'll infatuate your women and raid your shoe polish.
Turning up to a swank Hollywood Hallowe'en party dressed merely as oneself is normally thought of as being a bit of a faux pas... but when you're Depp, all things grim and morose are not just possible, they're probable.
"There's a whole lot of cheapo Hallowe'en costumes out there based on characters I've played," began Johnny D. "but truly my most challenging role is being myself... and no one has the patent or license on Johnny Depp!"
An enthused Depp, so enthralled by his image in a mirror, went on to say "yes, there's a reason women adore me, and its not my looks. They see deep into my soul and see the darkness I am cast from and splay their effing pocket books to pay for my masses of Oil of Olay and cocaine."
As no surprise, Tim Burton will be casting everyone's favourite undead pretty boy in a tandem role with (wait for it) Helena Bonham Carter... prepare for another travesty of black and white stripes and way too much eye make up.
