Keanu Reeves Receives First Ever Personality Transplant

Might he be stoned?

Medical science has always behaved like any evolutionary entity: progressing in leaps and bounds.  So now the genii who brought us anti-depressants, behavioural therapy and enriched corn syrup have done it again.  It is now possible to fix personalities and personality disorders by modifying specific regions of the limbic system where emotional potentiality to stimuli is processed and reactions are borne.  The surgery was pioneered by neuroscientists at GlaxoSmithKline and is said to be the most exciting breakthrough in psychosurgery and psychopharmacotherapy since the advent of Thorazine, Clozaril and the full frontal lobotomy.

Selected for the first broad spectrum personality transplant was famed actor Keanu Reeves.  Being believed that he had no personality of his own, he was said to be an excellent example of characterological vacuity and characteristic lability of essence.

Having starred in such blockbuster films as The Matrix, Speed and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure it became obvious the GlaxoKline researchers that he posed no personality of his own and would be the first to benefit from the revolutionary treatment.

The donor, one Mr. Dolph Lundgren, was happy to give up his personality; as he did have one, but simply had never had any use for it.  And as it happens the procedure ended up a startling success.  GlaxoKline are expecting to make $7.6bn USD a year in recursive drug therapies including Largactil drug maintenance and are expected to reap the benefits of plausible deniability in court cases incumbent which can simply be ignored or at worse bought off.  Malpractice suits are expected to quintuple in frequency, as are the figures of district attorneys' bolstered wallets.  The future is looking bright for unnecessary psychiatry! 

The Illusion of Security and the Private Security Industry

Bob Shepherd...

...and his endeavours.

Few know that which lies in the dessert -- not buried by the sands, but by reams of shredded paper and fallacious accounts of enemy indiscretion.  Anyone who knows much about the War on Terror knows that it's more of a 'war of terror' to begin with.  However, who really cares to tell the tale?  With the private security industry existing in the capacity that it does today, no one has the impetus to tell the truth, nor do they have the responsibility to do so.  So who, in the end, is going to pick up the slack for the lads on the ground, just making it from one pay cheque to the next, one roadside bombing to the next?

The casualties of war are always the forgotten.  To tell their story is a legacy to behest the valour that comes of doing ones job both honestly and well; so from the fray comes a soldier -- an ex-SAS operative -- to tell the stories those of us without proper clearance would normally not be privy to.  In this case, the man's name is Bob Shepherd.

Mr. Shepherd became a best selling author after his cold and candid account of the private security industry's involvement on the 'War on Terror' hit the shelves to a marketplace otherwise hungry for Andy McNab's accounts of SAS operations.  Bob, however, respectfully declines to make brazen anecdotes concerning an otherwise honourable annal of military history.  Focusing instead on scoundrels who play soldier and have no allegiance to any entity who isn't paying their way.  We all need to work, but considering the auspices under which close protection operates in hostile environments, one can not hope to expect to be well looked after when at the muzzle of an entire industry which is the same as any consumer or fuel industry: provided to make money at any cost.

Bob's books are readily available through Bob Shepherd's Blog and are worth a serious and thoughtful read.  His are accounts of mishap and misrule from our very own homeland through to chivalry and expedience by those who would otherwise be our foes.  He is a man not to be taken lightly, and neither is his non-fiction or his literary strides to explicate a world of war in which either side are no different than the other -- humans and humanity, even when at odds, need venture into equity... if only to know we're sometimes fighting ourselves rather than a phantom aggressor. 

Keep On Smiling? Diamonds Aren't Forever!

Street punk from Toronto?  I hadn't thought it possible for such a liberal city to get any more liberal... until Ungrateful Children; and where it rolls off, it really fuckin' rolls off into anarchy, contempt and political egress.  It simply doesn't get much better than this without a gram of coke and an Uzi!

Canada has never been known for its tough policies on anything, barring getting themselves out of the financial shit we're not in in the UK with poise and precision.  However, this does leave a gaping aperture to be filled by boots and other assorted articles of leather.  'Cause let's face, when things are too good, this is also bad!

Beneath and pearly white veneer the streets of Toronto teem with the punx who put it best as it is... drawing closer to the states as they are, the Canadians need to be aware that all new regimes become old regimes and fall.  Where to start with the anarchic antics?  Why not those very streets?

Ungrateful Children offer a new/old and quite fresh sound.  The angst burgeons and boils over into rivers of blood; suicide victims have never known the life to drain and bubble over quite like this!  The sounds of the new republic wash over the streets, and from the ashes of the first little bit of the new millennium -- waxed over with fallacious hope and good tiding -- is the new punk revolution that seeks to grip the streets of the GTA and knock six weeks of shit out of everyone who lives in their perfect worlds in which they are untouchable.

Fuck the system, lads!  It's on their heads, it's in their hands and the asphalt is unforgiving!  Listen to this shit or die!