In a stunning display of tomfoolery, Yoko Ono awards Lady Gag (I'm sure I've missed an 'a' in there) with yet another bogus award... this time more dubious than a Golden Globe. Ono and Lennon -- evidently believing their own press about the Beatles being 'bigger than Jesus' -- have now decided they are also bigger than the Nobel Prize. And who better to sit through a round of ingratiating flimflam than Ms. Gaga?
"Lady Gaga is in a position of number one as a singer songwriter," Ono told Reuters Television. "And when you are number one you don't want to risk yourself. And she did."
This is of course a moot point, as Ms. Gaga is not a politician. The marvellous thing about being a pop singer is that you're confectionaries will eat your excrement up like a Terry's Chocolate Orange, and hence where is the real risk? No one is going to stop selling Lady Gaga records when the industry is currently under the strain of "illegal" MP3 downloads. For it is these kinds of fanbases who don't have it about them to find a way to a bittorrent tracker!
Gaga said she would continue to "communicate compassionately to the world and its leaders," and dedicated the award to "youth empowerment around the world."
Now, what exactly does this mean? I'll tell you what it means... and it might read out something like this; "I'm going to keep telling all my vacuous fans they're unique and special and totally awesome! They might be drab teenagers and wigger/chav chicks, but damn it, they're buying my records!" terrible as they might be. More grooming minors for record sales, I am sure.
So remember, kids, you can sell your soul or you can sell your record collection. One leads to salvation, the other leads to the Church... do have a guess as to which one.
