Thanks to Tony Law I am Losing My Will to Live

'I am time travelling to a moment when I was amusing!'

Could it be 2012?  It must be!  For Tony Law will likely not be funny anymore when December 21st, this year, comes to pass.  Why, you might ask?  The Mayans knew it as well as any other prognosticating culture you might want to lend a pre-apocalyptic ear to; for the day when Mr. Law gets any genuine laughs, time will stop, clocks will run backwards, water will swirl down the drain clockwise in the northern hemisphere and your waffle iron will attack you!  No, I'm not referencing a poorly conceived CBC documentary, it's the signs of the apocalypse... all starting with Tony Law actually being genuinely amusing.  In fact, I also prognosticate that his head will explode -- but that's an easier prediction to make when I know where I can get my hands on an AR-10 carbine assault rifle!

So what does happen when a Canadian comedian can't make it in the States and is even far too rubbish for the travesty of Canadian sketch programmes... *cough*  Well, needless to say I won't be needing to scratch my eyes out any time soon, as I already have after watching Tony ham it up on a re-run of some nameless comedy programme on 'Dave'.  Usually known for its high quality programming... oh wait, what the fuck am I talking about?

Having come from a country where hand guns are readily accessible, it's no wonder Mr. Law took solace on British television... after all, we have our fair share of imbeciles with funny accents; but we've all seen a  Scouser before!  Why not showcase a Canadian nutter with the IQ of Scottish smoked salmon on some of the worst skit and stand up show Britain has to spew out of every gaping orifice?  Sure, he may have been on Qi... but I'm sure Stephen Fry is heading the way of Terry Pratchett, as it is.  Our only hope: the lifting of euthanasia sanctions!

So whatever you tune in and find Tony Law staring at you with his wild eyes, send him back to Canada so they can send him south to America and the Yanks can send someone even more awful (ie. Pauly Shore) down to Mexico where he'll have his rightful career prospect in mind -- playing wet nurse to an Hispanic tranny in a Mexican prison.

Jimmy Savile: Father of Protracted Indiscretion

There's been a lot of buzz surrounding Jimmy Savile, for Jim'll Fix It for You [to be in therapy for the rest of your days].  So now we have a dead paedophile, Gary Glitter to stand trial yet again and a plethora for victims and BBC officials who turned a blind eye to it in the first place, at very least.  So why all the hubbub?  ITV looking for enough credibility to host the next Olympic Games... it'll be interested to see if they're marred again by G4S and its army of suit fillers.  What's more interesting: why is the unholy name of Hades' left ear has this not come to light until James Savile's demise?

Perhaps God wanted it this way... for I'm sure much will come to light about the Catholic Church when it's finally disbanded and the Vatican is turned into an Asda!  Jesus couldn't have been more proud -- or disparate in the apostles' account of him.  Now enter hjis Lordship, Mr. Savile, and a young and impressionable Jesus and slough of sycophantic cult followers.  Is this an explanation for Jesus's psychosis?

Touched but the divine albeit sweaty hand of Jimmy Saville is enough to turn anyone to crime, insanity or gender reassignment surgery.  I still don't know how a paedophile of his calibre evaded the authorities for so long -- well, aside from 1) the BBC being bigger than the Royal Family and 2) plausible deniability.  Next we'll find out that Channel 4 use sweatshop labour and sell it to ITV... and its subsidiary company, McDonalds, handles the clean up.

Makes me wonder if all those preachers from the 50's weren't right about their doomsday, apocalyptic foofaraw... the pope was just used as a smoke screen or something.  Kill?  Damn it, he's already dead!

European Union Wins Nobel Prize for Fiscal Meandering

There is just a slight bit of contention in the lower regions of my brain as the EU is awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace.  Why the Norsk would want to honour representatives of a system who have helped put the European economy into this much of a slump is unbeknown to me.

Peace is evidently achieved through fiscal flaccidity.  War is good for the economy and progress in general.

However, the interesting thing is that for Spain to prosper, Germany must fall out of the EU in order to bring Spain's currency into a boom stage or era or who cares?  Because of the kind of unity the EU has afforded the people of Europe, the people of Europe can no longer afford the EU.  It's one thing to try and consolidate a group of nations into one voice, but political convokation leads of financial normity leads to nothing.

Now that we're all not fighting anymore (at least I think we're not) let's see what happens if we dissolve the EU.  Peace existed before the European Union just as it existed before the advent the Nobel Prize to honour it.  The EU have a feather in their cap, now, what about ending it on a high note?

Cameron to Defecate on Disability Claimants

So now with all the new budget cuts, David Cameron is trimming the fat, and mental health has been toe-tagged with a label of 'Morbid obesity'.  This comes as no surprise to most of us in the system who still have our two pence about us (even though we're not getting paid the interest on them) but for millions of other moderately-severely ill patients out there, benefits are the vessel into the world in which the mad rarely tread more than ten paces before we're shot down.

What does all this mean?  Well, of course, they're restructuring DLA (disability living allowance) which effectively means they're scrapping it until further notice.  Cameron had been talking about resending the benefit system into a freeze state, thereby garnishing over £10,000,000,000 from the DWPs budget.  The situation is, however, more complicated than this.

Cameron, in my opinion, effectively was making a statement to prototype his upcoming strategy to slash the everliving hell out of the welfare budget. [I'd seriously like to see a permanent lapse in how they dole out JSA (job seekers' allowance)] and I am of the opinion that the mental health budget will once again take it in the throat.

We've not only got psychiatric hospitals downsizing or shutting altogether when there is more need for them than ever, but what we've really got here are what are considered to be a group of ne'erdowells and "dole dossers" under the mental health who will, I am sure, become expendable for at least 2-3 years.  It makes sense to me, as I am sure the mentally ill are the only group under the disability act that won't garner a public outcry.

Now, having said this, I am sure that eventually DLA will be equitably restructured, but at the moment Cameron is playing dice with the devil in that he's seemingly trying to weed out whomever he can most cost-effectively.  There is no mistake to be made about it, absolutely everyone is being pulled off DLA after a rouse interview and being declared fit for work.  When last I heard 42% of people were getting through on appeal -- mental health accounts for less than that in the runnings for DLA under the DWP.

It's interesting to note that the company handling these interviews for DLA is the same French company that sponsored the para-Olympics.  So in the end they're leqaving us with three things:

1. Plausible deniability for our Tory/Lib-Dem government;
2. Legal obliquity (unless you want to take a foreign company to court in the EU for Human Rights Violations);
3. and, a win for Cameron in cementing his incredulity as heroism and decisiveness.

These three things taken into account, what hope is there for the reams of people left with their mailing addresses for ESA (employment and support allowance) listed as teh cardboard box between Boots and M&S?  Should slash a little from housing benefits in the end, as well!

Creation vs. Regurgitation

The question as to the nature of art is one that brings incumbent swarms of if's and but's... for me, I am not precisely sure what to make of it.  Of how one chooses to present themselves, is that not art?  I would have to wager that claim that it is not.

Art must first be recognized as art in order to be art.  I have heard erring replies from the other side of the field, and I have always ignored them.

While it is true that art is a personal endeavour, this is only where it begins.  A man who hallucinates a pink unicorn and draws a picture of it will still get nowhere with his craft unless he can convince others of its existence.  If he explains to them what it looks like, all they're thinking of is a pink horse with a bony growth on its forehead.  However, once people come to his understanding, it becomes quite clear what a unicorn is, and perhaps that they are the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

However one chooses to present themselves is important.  Having said this, do people choose to recognize his vantage of perception?  Will anyone actually read this post?  Perhaps not, on both counts.  However, van Gogh wasn't recognized in his time, just as Lovecraft was not.  What does this amount to?

The difference between success and originality is vast.  It's one thing to come up with someone everyone likes, it's another thing to come up with something truly original.  Bridging the gap is the hard part... but LaVey, as much as I often despise him, put it best; be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.

So whom dredges the inner confines of what is abhorrently referred to as 'the soul' and who merely inverts the creative trash bins?  I'll leave that to the rest of you mutants...