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| 'I am time travelling to a moment when I was amusing!' |
Could it be 2012? It must be! For Tony Law will likely not be funny anymore when December 21st, this year, comes to pass. Why, you might ask? The Mayans knew it as well as any other prognosticating culture you might want to lend a pre-apocalyptic ear to; for the day when Mr. Law gets any genuine laughs, time will stop, clocks will run backwards, water will swirl down the drain clockwise in the northern hemisphere and your waffle iron will attack you! No, I'm not referencing a poorly conceived CBC documentary, it's the signs of the apocalypse... all starting with Tony Law actually being genuinely amusing. In fact, I also prognosticate that his head will explode -- but that's an easier prediction to make when I know where I can get my hands on an AR-10 carbine assault rifle!
So what does happen when a Canadian comedian can't make it in the States and is even far too rubbish for the travesty of Canadian sketch programmes... *cough* Well, needless to say I won't be needing to scratch my eyes out any time soon, as I already have after watching Tony ham it up on a re-run of some nameless comedy programme on 'Dave'. Usually known for its high quality programming... oh wait, what the fuck am I talking about?
Having come from a country where hand guns are readily accessible, it's no wonder Mr. Law took solace on British television... after all, we have our fair share of imbeciles with funny accents; but we've all seen a Scouser before! Why not showcase a Canadian nutter with the IQ of Scottish smoked salmon on some of the worst skit and stand up show Britain has to spew out of every gaping orifice? Sure, he may have been on Qi... but I'm sure Stephen Fry is heading the way of Terry Pratchett, as it is. Our only hope: the lifting of euthanasia sanctions!
So whatever you tune in and find Tony Law staring at you with his wild eyes, send him back to Canada so they can send him south to America and the Yanks can send someone even more awful (ie. Pauly Shore) down to Mexico where he'll have his rightful career prospect in mind -- playing wet nurse to an Hispanic tranny in a Mexican prison.
